Author : Julie Fleming Brown
There's a key skill for balancing work and life: Cheryl Richardson, author of Stand Up For Your Life (among others) calls it "passing up good for great."As children, we're taught that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. While that's valid under some circumstances, it can also be a harmful, limiting belief. Sometimes, we need to release the bird already in hand so that both hands are free to grab the two in the bush.It is difficult to hold onto mediocrity while reaching for greatness. So, for instance, if you've been saving for a vacation, you can't spend your vacation fund to go away for a weekend and still expect to go to Europe as originally planned. Another saying fits: you can't have your cake and eat it too.Right. What on earth does this mean for work/life balance in practice?Work/life balance requires surrender of part of one area – whether it's time spent on work or time spent on personal matters — in favor of the other. But we don't generally like giving up anything we want. We want it all, and we want it all now. Maturity requires us to recognize that perhaps we can have it all (though that too is open to question), but we certainly can't have it all at the same time. The single most useful skill for deciding how to arrange this work/life balance is the ability to pass up good for great. Learning that skill requires that we be able to recognize what's good and what's great, to identify appropriate time frames to help with the good/great evaluation, and to guard our decisions zealously.Recognize what's good versus what's great.This judgment will be different for each person. I might decide that being able to attend my child's soccer games regularly is good but having a prestigious position that will pay enough to let me easily pay for their private school is great. I might decide that having a $200K income that requires 70-hour workweeks is good, but having time to volunteer 20 hours a week in my community is great. Each good/great decision informs a life decision, because if I accept good and forego great, I will be unhappy.When you look at a decision — be it the big ones I've mentioned or small ones like whether to go out for dinner or to stay in and relax — you can recognize what's great by the internal voice that says yes! When you consider an option and get an "eh, that's fine" gut response, that's your sign that you haven't yet found great. Good versus great is more than a pro/con list; it requires you to engage your values, your priorities, and your desires.Identify appropriate time frames when evaluating good versus great.Sometimes what's good versus what's great will depend on duration. For instance, you may decide that the opportunity to chair a committee for a year is great even though it requires you to cut back on business development activities and to stop singing with your church choir. If your commitment would be three years, you might decide that it isn't a great opportunity. When considering opportunities that are not time-limited by their own terms, good decision-making may require you to put some time limits on them.Zealously guard your decisions.Once you've identified good versus great, and especially once you've begun to act in conformity with that decision, do whatever you must to put boundaries around your decision. You will have an opportunity to revisit your decision; while reevaluation is often worthwhile, be sure not to fall into the trap of accepting good when you've identified great.When you decide to pass up good for great, you accept quality over quantity; you develop a high degree of selectivity about what you allow into your life and how you choose to spend your time and energy; and you refuse to settle for less than what's best for you. It takes practice to give up something that's good, especially when great isn't immediately in front of you. Practice with small decisions so that you're well-trained when the big ones present themselves. If this skill seems conpletely foreign to you, consider requesting support, whether it's from colleagues or from a coach. Difficult though it is, this skill will serve you well.Julie Fleming Brown coaches attorneys and other professionals on issues such as professional development, work/life balance, employment searches, job and career transitions, and client development. She also provides the DISC(r) assessment to assist in team-building and communication skills enhancement. To contact Julie for a complimentary coaching exploration session, visit http://www.LifeAtTheBar.com/.
Keyword : work life balance,work/life balance,stress management,career stress,achieving balance work life
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